Well. I literally haven’t been able to write a review in a long while since I’ve been trying to finish this series about fallen angels—but good lord it’s taking me wayyy too long. There’s only four books and they’re really small, and I sort of love the characters—I do—but it’s just killing me slowly. It’s a slow series, and gets monotonous, and I guess I’ll probably review the entire thing as a whole, since I didn’t want to dole out four individuals.
Anyway, there’s been a lot of viewer activity on my blog as of late, and I feel like shite just leaving it empty and not posting anything, so I’ll do something fun and short just to get something up there.
Which leads me to The Zombie Apocalypse Book Tag. I came across this just by going through someone’s list of tags, I saw the word Zombie, then my eyes just about fell out of their sockets. So here we are, staring down a pile of books and thinking about the future of civilization resting in the hands of a few fictional characters.
If you—as the poor soul you are—have found yourself either in my shoes with nothing to write, or maybe you’re simply bored out of your mind feeling a little walker-like yourself, or you’ve just decided to scan through my word vomit without gouging your eyeballs with sporks (bless your heart) then you should most definitely take part in this tag and spread it like a virus that reanimates corpses.
Here’s how this shindig is gonna go down:
You pick five books—that’s five, as in cinco, as in your fifth finger, which is generally your pinky if you count your fingers off like the general public. Not ten, nor six, nor two, or twenty.
You’ll turn to a random page, and the very first name you feast yer eyes on, is bestowed the honor of joining your survival team.
Alas, you will apply these characters to ten different scenarios/roles in a world that has been ridden with flesh eating monsters. Like your mom. And your ex.
I’m just kidding, that was uncalled for.
Wellp, I’ve pulled five books off my shelves at random just to spice it up a little. We’ve got– already forgot the list of books, had to turn around and grab pile of books—Lux’s Opposition, The Goddess Inheritance, Washington, Catching Fire, and Eleanor & Park. Shall we dance?
And by dance, I mean dodge hordes of hungry man eaters.
- The first person to die: Kat from Opposition by Jennifer L. Armentrout.
OH my baby precious child incarnate of me, I am SO sorry. I love you, darling, always, I promise to put the link to your blog on your wooden headstone.
- The person you trip to get away from the zombies: (Jesus, that’s metal af. I dig it.) Henry aka Hades from The Goddess Inheritance by Aimee Carter.
Wow, this tag is already tearing me apart limb from limb and we’ve barely started. Y’all know Henry is my fantasy husband in some mythological Greek way OKAY. I WOULD NEVER TRIP YOU BABY I LOVE YOU.
- The first person to turn into a zombie: (Probably someone else I love, hmm? Fate? You out there?) George Washington from Washington A Life by Ron Chernow.
I’ve lost it. The image of the president turning into a zombie is the most fascinating thing I’ve thought of all day. I guess it was inevitable, coming across his name in a book about him.
- The person that trips YOU to get away from zombies: Peeta Mellark from Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins.
OH HELL NAH. GIRL. Not even.
- The idiot of the team: Eleanor from Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell.
Nope. Not even possible. Eleanor’s the brightest and boldest girl I know.
- The brains of the team: Daemon Black from Opposition.
Yeah, I could totally see it. That beautiful piece of extraterrestrial handsome is intelligent and arrogantly physically flawless, as a package.
- The team’s medic: (damn this survival team just so happens to have conveniently come across a living uninfected medic? Shit, that’s bourgie.) Milo from The Goddess Inheritance.
Oh that’s good. Put the infant in charge of medical care.
- The weapons expert: General Charles Lee from Washington A Life.
Let’s all just take a moment of silence to sigh so loudly, your ears bleed from the weight of an audible sigh. (Quick history refresh: The sore loser was shot in a duel.)
- The brawler: Rue from Catching Fire.
RUE was never even physically in Catching Fire, how dare you. stares self down in a mirror.
- The team captain: Park from Eleanor & Park.
I am okay with this. I am totally okay with this. He’d be like a more musically influenced Glenn Rhee. Both wonderfully dorky, heart and headstrong.
And so we must call this a night, that is all I have for you wonderful people, thanks for being here and all. As a last ditch effort, I will say that I am advertising this Netflix produced show called Santa Clarita Diet and no, I am not an official sponsor, but I damn well should be because I loved it. I got through the first season in a matter of hours. It’s got the undead, California, the adorable Drew Barrymore, and comedy all rolled into one show. So I’ll just have to wait here patiently for the next season. As you should all be doing as well. It fills that Stranger Things void.
Adieu. Adieu. To you and you and you.